How Embracing Death Can Teach Us to Live

Discover 7 Habits of Highly Effective People Relative to Living Better Now

May 08, 2023

Death is a topic that many people in Western cultures tend to avoid. However, it is an inevitable aspect of life that we all must face at some point. In his bestselling book “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People,” Stephen Covey outlines habits that can help us become more effective in our personal and professional lives.

Stephen Covey was an American educator, author, businessman, and keynote speaker. He was born on October 24, 1932, in Salt Lake City, Utah, and passed away on July 16, 2012. Covey received his Bachelor of Science degree in business administration from the University of Utah, his MBA from Harvard University, and his doctorate from Brigham Young University.

Covey wrote several books, including his most well-known and bestselling book, "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People." The book was first published in 1989 and has since sold over 25 million copies worldwide, translated into 40 languages. The book is a self-help classic credited with transforming how people approach personal and professional success.

This article explores how these habits can be applied to shifting our acceptance of death as a natural aspect of life, not to be feared. We also look at the clinical evidence of near-death experiences (NDEs) and the research conducted by the Division of Perceptual Studies at the University of Virginia on past life experiences. By examining these topics, we can learn how to have peace with death and live more fully.

"Live out of your imagination, not your history."- Stephen Covey

7 Habits to Help Us All

As more of us learn to practice healthy habits like Covey, we’ll inevitably learn to get along with ourselves and others better. Here are Covey’s seven habits, heavily emphasizing the first two.

Be proactive. Take responsibility for your life and focus on what you can control rather than reacting to circumstances. Be proactive by choosing to embrace death and live life to the fullest.
Begin with the end in mind. Visualize what you want to achieve and create a plan to get there. In the context of the article, we all know we will die. Begin with the end in mind.
Put first things first. As a grandfather and patriarch of our family, our priorities are God/faith, family, community service, business/career, and life finances, including a proper Will and appropriate estate plan. Prioritize and focus on the most critical tasks to achieve your goals. Put first things first.
Think win-win. Look for solutions that benefit everyone involved in a situation rather than seeking to win at the expense of others. Think win-win.
Seek first to understand, then to be understood. Listen to others and seek to understand their perspectives before sharing your own. Seek to understand.
Synergize. I believe the survival of the fittest among us translates to working well with others, seeing the greater good, and practicing the Golden Rule in all our affairs. Work with others to create solutions greater than the sum of their parts. In other words, don’t be a selfish jerk. Synergize.
Sharpen the saw. Life is a gift when we choose to see it that way. Take care of yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally to maintain balance and improve over time. Sharpen your saw.

With regard to death, be proactive in living life, preparing for death by accepting and not fearing it, and doing so by beginning with the end of your physical body on Earth, dust to dust.

As Covey suggests, true success is not just about achieving external goals but also about personal growth and a sense of fulfillment. Hemingway agreed:

“Death is the easiest of all things after it, and the hardest of all things before it.” — Ernest Hemingway

What We Think About Death

The fear of death is a complex and universal phenomenon that psychologists and sociologists have studied for decades. Based on the facts, most people in Western cultures don’t want to think much about death.

Unlike many Tibetans, people who live in Western cultures receive little to no training for death. For example, the Tibetan Book of the Dead is a sacred text of Tibetan Buddhism that describes the soul's journey after death and guides the deceased to navigate the afterlife.

It emphasizes the importance of spiritual practice during one’s lifetime to prepare for a positive afterlife journey. In contrast, Western culture often views death as taboo and highlights material success over spiritual preparation for death. Many of us fear it.

In a 2018 survey by the Cremation Institute, 78% of respondents reported being afraid of death, while 22% were not scared.
The same survey found that the top five fears related to death were: leaving loved ones behind (70%), the unknown (66%), pain and suffering (55%), loss of control (43%), and the fear of what happens after death (41%).
A study published in the Journal of Palliative Medicine in 2018 found that while 95% of participants acknowledged the importance of discussing end-of-life care with their loved ones, only 32% had done so.
Another study published in the Journal of Pain and Symptom Management in 2019 found that patients and healthcare professionals tended to avoid discussing end-of-life care due to fear of causing emotional distress or being seen as giving up hope.

Given these studies, let’s look at how to have peace with death.

“The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.” — Mark Twain

One Way to Find Peace with Death

The simple answer I propose is to study the stories of people who offer clinical evidence of their death and highly-descriptive experiences with life after death. I mostly find serenity by reading the stories and watching the interviews on YouTube.

It’s common sense to give these stories a chance to help us see what’s on the other side and how being there can change us profoundly. NDE stories have remarkable similarities and reinforce the #2 habit of highly successful people; begin with the end in mind. If you believe your soul is eternal, let’s learn how to live more fully by accepting and preparing for death as the gateway to eternity.

NDEs are often considered subjective and difficult to verify scientifically, and the number of famous people who have publicly documented their NDEs is relatively small. However, here is a list of some prominent individuals, including scientists, who have reported experiencing an NDE:

Dr. Eben Alexander — A neurosurgeon who wrote the book “Proof of Heaven” about his NDE after a bout with meningitis.
Anita Moorjani — A cancer survivor who wrote “Dying to Be Me” about her NDE during her battle with lymphoma.
Dr. Raymond Moody — A philosopher and psychologist who coined the term “near-death experience” and has written several books on the subject.
Dr. Mary Neal — An orthopedic surgeon who wrote “To Heaven and Back” about her NDE after a kayaking accident.
Dr. Jeffrey Long — A radiation oncologist who founded the Near Death Experience Research Foundation (NDERF) and has authored several books on the topic.
Dr. Pim van Lommel — A cardiologist who conducted one of the most extensive studies on NDEs and authored the book “Consciousness Beyond Life.”
Carl Jung — A renowned psychiatrist who documented his own NDE in his book “Memories, Dreams, Reflections.”
Aldous Huxley — A writer who described his NDE in his book “The Doors of Perception.”
Pam Reynolds — A musician who underwent a rare brain surgery and reported an NDE that Dr. Michael Sabom later studied.
Sharon Stone — An actress who has spoken publicly about her NDE following a brain aneurysm in 2001.

What’s fascinating is that many of these people, including the hundreds of other stories I’ve researched, were non-believers before their NDEs. Even though the scientific community remains divided on the interpretation of NDEs and their underlying causes, there are far too many similarities in the stories not to believe there is merit to living after death, subject to personal experience.

Don’t take my word alone for any of this. If you’re reading this article, you’re among the few curious enough to study and learn more.

“Death is nothing else but going home to God, the bond of love will be unbroken for all eternity.” — Mother Teresa

Reincarnation and Past Life Experience Studies at UVA

Before we conclude, did you know the department at the University of Virginia that has studied past life experiences for more than 50 years? It’s true.

The Division of Perceptual Studies, also known as the Division of Personality Studies before 2002, was founded in 1967 by Dr. Ian Stevenson, a psychiatrist and researcher who devoted his career to investigating cases of children who claimed to remember past lives. Over the decades, the division has compiled an extensive database of cases of children who have reported memories of past lives, which a team of researchers has analyzed.

The division’s research has also included investigations into other phenomena related to consciousness, including near-death experiences, out-of-body experiences, and telepathy. The division’s findings suggest that there may be a form of consciousness that exists beyond the physical body, and that memories and experiences from past lives may be carried over into the present life.

In conclusion, while death may be brutal to discuss and accept, it is an inevitable aspect of life that we all must face. By applying Stephen Covey’s seven habits of highly effective people, we can shift our perspective on death and learn to live more fully.

Additionally, the clinical evidence of near-death experiences and the research conducted by the Division of Perceptual Studies at the University of Virginia on past life experiences can offer insight into the afterlife and the nature of consciousness.

While these topics may be controversial, exploring them can help us find peace with death and live more purposefully. Ultimately, we must all find our way to navigate death's inevitability and embrace the idea that it is not an end but rather a transition to something beyond our physical bodies.

I’m a partner in a commercial real estate investment, development, and consulting firm based in Scottsdale, Arizona. When not serving our client investors, my passion and mission is empowering people to transform by understanding the convergence of faith, spirituality, and science. Subscribe to The God Chill newsletter on Substack by clicking here.