The Love and Joy of Being a Stay-At-Home Dad

How to Find Work-Life Balance As a Parent

Photo by Mohamed Awwam on Unsplash

Being a stay-at-home father was not an easy decision, but it was one of my life's most rewarding experiences. Starting and growing a small business from the comfort of my home office allowed me to be actively involved in my children's lives while pursuing my entrepreneurial dreams.

In this article, I want to share nine benefits I discovered along the way, despite the initial challenges. I’ll walk you through the most valuable lessons I learned and offer suggestions to young fathers and mothers committed to raising their children as best they can.

If the world needs anything right now, it’s conscious, unconditionally loving, devoted, patient, and compassionate parents who know how to define the boundaries for raising responsible children.

One of the best ways to improve the quality of life is to control your time and destiny while keeping work and life in balance.

“Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them.” — James Baldwin

The Big Small Business Transition

In 2002, I sold my small investment advisory and financial planning business to a mega-firm on Wall Street. I had a five-year contract to build the business under the new firm.

It was great until the honeymoon buzz wore off.

Within two years, I wouldn't say I liked the business of life; my stress and anxiety were at an all-time high, my health was suffering, and I decided to quit, start a new small business, and do it all from the comfort of my home office.

Before that, I pitched my manager from hell on my idea to work from home. He told me that I was an idiot for considering it. Remember, this was 2002, and the world differed in many ways.

When I finally figured out that working from home wouldn't fly for him, I told him to pound sand and quit. He had become Satan’s wingman to me.

I used my fear and anger as the springboard to courage, but it was a tough transition. We went bankrupt, but all the living hell on Earth made us stronger, humbler, and better spiritual warriors.

“Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.” — Ambrose Redmoon

Hotter Than Hell

I'll never forget what it felt like on August 17, 2002, when I quit and felt like my world had fallen apart. At the same time, I sensed that my new life would provide me with joy beyond money, and my story produced one of the greatest joys for humans; the love, trust, and friendship of an adult child.

It was 117 degrees Fahrenheit when I walked out of my office for the prior two years. It was almost two years since 9/11 rocked the world. I had done my best to grow my investment advisory business with the new firm, but I hit an interpersonal wall in a way that I felt my world had fallen apart.

I cried on the drive back to my home. My wife, Janice, a pharmaceutical sales rep at the time, worked from home, which was a blessing in many ways. She had known I was miserable at work, but Janice didn't know that I had just quit in a moment of fury dealing with my branch managers.

When I walked in the door, Janice knew something was wrong. I walked to her, and we hugged. I told her I had just resigned. She hugged me and said, "Don't worry, honey. Everything will be okay. You always find a way to work things out."

Janice has always been the rock of our family, and that was her consistent way of loving me unconditionally.

“A woman’s heart should be so hidden in God that a man has to seek Him just to find her.” — Maya Angelou

Bouncing Back

My recovery from the abyss began with Janice giving me her blessing to start my sales training and coaching business. I promised her that if I didn't generate positive cash flow in 90 days, I would get a "real job."

I leaned on my former sales trainer and coach at Sandler, Brad, to give me a desk, a phone line, and some leads to get started. On day 62 of "smiling and dialing" the phone and making cold calls on small business owners, I got a lead from Lynn Hennesey, a top-performing State Farm agent in Chandler, Arizona.

The fee for training and coaching her team was $30,000. My cut of the revenue launched me into the small business of my dreams; strategic coaching, consulting, and a radical focus on getting sales and marketing teams aligned with "radical clarity" for success and revenue.

I love Lynn more than she knows. I've stayed in touch with her over the decades because if it weren't for amazing human beings like Lynn and the hundreds of other successful small business owners I've served.

“The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.” — Nelson Mandela

The Benefits of Working from Home

It doesn't matter if you're starting or running your business or working for your employer. Working from home has challenges, for sure. However, for me and millions of others, the benefits are priceless.

Here are the top nine benefits I experienced:

1. Flexibility and work-life balance. Flexibility is one of the most significant advantages of working from home as a small business owner. As a stay-at-home father, I could tailor my work schedule around my children's needs, be it school activities, doctor's appointments, or simply spending quality time together.

2. Active involvement in my children's lives. By being a stay-at-home father, I had the privilege of actively participating in my children's daily routines and milestones. I got to attend all of their sports and school-related events. I got to coach them and other young men. We had buckets of quality time and adventures as a family.

3. Being a positive role model. Our sons excel in the business of life primarily because they got to see their mother and father work from home. As a stay-at-home father and entrepreneur, I had the opportunity to set a positive example for my children.

4. Lower childcare costs: Janice worked from home when I started the new business. However, working from home eliminated the need for costly childcare services by working from home.

5. Increased productivity. Working in the comfort of my home office provided an environment free from distractions commonly found in traditional office settings.

6. Reduced stress, little commuting. Say goodbye to rush hour traffic and long commutes! Working from home eliminated the need for daily travel to an office, saving me valuable time and reducing stress.

7. Enhanced creativity and innovation. Over the years, my home office has improved because I have found ways to improve it. A home office environment can foster creativity and innovation.

8. Increased autonomy and control of time. Imagine owning your time, and you are the Time Bank CEO. Do you manage your time well, or not? As a stay-at-home father and small business owner, I had complete control over my work and its direction.

9. Personal satisfaction and fulfillment. Sheer joy is a great way to describe my experience. I'm in my home office right now. I LOVE the business of life. It keeps getting better.

Balancing the responsibilities of raising a family and growing a business pushed me to develop new skills, adapt to challenges, and overcome obstacles. This personal growth journey brought immense fulfillment, a sense of accomplishment, and a greater understanding of my capabilities.

The combination of professional success and being present for my children's upbringing brought unparalleled joy.

“The most important thing in the world is family and love.” — John Wooden

The Business of Life

The business of life isn’t always easy. The purpose of our suffering is the transcendence of our minds from the abyss of fear, shame, guilt, resentment, and regret.

Instead, we grow in faith and hope as we transgress life's trials. We grow by living in alignment with virtues more than vices.

If children can become our greatest teachers as parents, being a stay-at-home mom or dad can be one of the most beautiful achievements of your life.

However, working from home and being a great parent are two distinct disciplines. Children want our undivided attention, and giving it to them is part of our parental mission.

Being a stay-at-home father and growing a small business from the comfort of my home office brought immense joy and fulfillment. The benefits of flexibility, active involvement in my children's lives, and the opportunity to be a positive role model were invaluable.

Moreover, the financial savings, increased productivity, and personal growth made the journey worthwhile.

To young fathers and mothers committed to raising their children while pursuing their entrepreneurial dreams, I encourage you to embrace the challenges and seize the opportunities that come your way.

Living With Clarity of Purpose, and Joy

In conclusion, I recently became a grandfather to Clifford "Ford" Jones, a healthy, happy grandson to our second son and his wife, Alison. Both sons live close by in Scottsdale, Arizona.

We are blessed with a tight-knit family beyond words. Much of that concern the quality time my wife and I have devoted to raising our children, now 35 and 32, respectively.

As the good Lord would have it, Alison has become a top-performing State Fram agency owner and agent, and she invests heavily in her business, and her staff loves her for her leadership ability.

How does life get any better than that?