The High Cost of Stress

Discover the Art of Human Transformation

Jul 11, 2023

"It’s not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it." - Hans Selye

Over the past three decades, I have delved into Gabor Mate, M.D.'s work to understand better the relationships between stress, anxiety, Trauma, and disease. The insights I've gathered have been nothing short of astounding. It’s the most significant breakthrough in my life beyond marrying the woman of my dreams and raising a family.

The primary driver to seek help was stress that felt like I would sometimes implode. My journey has also been fraught with obstacles. As a founder, business owner, and entrepreneur for over three decades, I've pursued an ideal that has resulted in tremendous self-imposed pressure, leading to a total implosion - physically, mentally, and spiritually.

In pursuing wealth, I was continuously berating myself with notions of inadequacy. I was never enough - not wealthy, successful, and certainly not free enough. The gulf between my aspirations and my reality resulted in a total collapse. It was a massive chasm full of stress that had gone untreated. There’s much to be said for “being and having enough.”

When our perspective is such, managing stress and its cousin anxiety is much easier. Cancer took both my father and my father-in-law from us, and we've witnessed far too many friends receive life-altering diagnoses. Chronic stress and old age were the primary contributors to my father’s poor health. I also believe many of us are unaware of the high cost of untreated stress, anxiety, and Trauma. These are the primary drivers of changes in the brain and body that drive all addictions. I know this because it’s my experience living in recovery for decades.

The silver lining in this rather bleak cloud was that through grace and a deep personal commitment to self-improvement and healing, I learned to rise from the ashes, transforming myself from the inside out. Yes, I had a lot of help, and I’m eternally grateful to all who guided me. We are all a work in progress, even though most of us put too much pressure on ourselves to work, make money, and play hard.

Here’s a note about Trauma I learned along the way. Trauma is what happens within us, not what happens to us. According to the American Psychologic Association, “Trauma is an emotional response to a terrible event like an accident, rape, or natural disaster. Immediately after the event, shock, and denial are typical. Longer-term reactions include unpredictable emotions, flashbacks, strained relationships, and even physical symptoms like headaches or nausea.”

Facts About Stress

As you’ll soon learn, the cost of untreated stress is astronomical in terms of human suffering and cost. Indeed, anxiety, particularly when untreated or poorly managed, has a significantly adverse impact on our health and well-being.

According to the American Institute of Stress, approximately 77% of people in the U.S. regularly experience physical symptoms caused by stress, and an estimated 33% feel they are living with extreme stress. Moreover, stress is recognized as the primary cause of 60% of all human illnesses and diseases.

The American Psychological Association (APA) supports this claim by stating that chronic stress is linked to the six leading causes of death: heart disease, cancer, lung ailments, accidents, cirrhosis of the liver, and suicide. In addition, an estimated 75%-90% of all doctor's office visits are for stress-related conditions and complaints.

However, it's also crucial to understand that not all stress is harmful. Acute stress, often called the 'fight or flight' response, is the body's immediate reaction to a perceived threat or danger. This stress can enhance our ability to respond to challenging situations by increasing focus, energy, and alertness. This stress can improve performance in public speaking, athletic competitions, or critical decision-making scenarios in controlled doses.

This form of stress becomes problematic when persistent and unmanaged, turning into chronic stress. Chronic stress occurs when the body's stress systems are activated for extended periods, leading to overexposure to cortisol and other stress hormones. This persistent state can disrupt almost all of the body's processes, increasing the risk of numerous health problems, including anxiety, depression, heart disease, weight gain, and memory and concentration impairment.

Stress, therefore, is not inherently wrong. It is our body's natural response to challenges and can provide benefits when experienced in moderation. The key lies in proper management and balance. We can train ourselves to develop coping mechanisms and strategies to manage stress effectively, such as exercise, meditation, adequate sleep, a healthy diet, regular health checkups, and a robust support system. Acknowledging the mind-body connection, as Gabor Mate advocates, can be instrumental in achieving this balance.

The Work of Gabor Mate, M.D.

Among the numerous sources I explored for self-improvement, the works of Gabor Mate, M.D., stand out. Dr. Mate, a renowned physician, author, and speaker, has written several books, including "In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction," "Scattered Minds: A New Look at the Origins and Healing of Attention Disorder," "Hold On to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers," and "When the Body Says No: The Cost of Hidden Stress." He staunchly advocates that the connection between mind and body is the most significant missing link in Western medicine.

I am delving into Dr. Mate's "When the Body Says No - Exploring the Stress-Disease Connection." This book and my experience with extreme stress and Trauma have influenced me profoundly. The studies I’ve pursued, and my personal experience, have been so powerfully transformative that I plan to return to school in September after a forty-year hiatus to earn a degree and become a highly specialized therapist treating stress, Trauma, and addiction.

When the Body Says No

In "When the Body Says No," Mate dives into the biological cost of bottling negative emotions and stress. He explores how chronic stress can manifest as a disease and argues that taking care of our emotional health is equally, if not more, essential to our overall well-being. He uncovers how our emotions and bodies communicate, comprehensively understanding the mind-body connection.

With this knowledge, it's crucial to recognize that disregarding the mind-body connection can lead to severe repercussions. In my journey of healing and transformation, I found the power of my mind and a higher spiritual entity to be the catalyst for recovery. With over thirty years of study in psychology, metaphysics, and the mind-body connection, I can assertively confirm that this connection is real and incredibly influential.

Do We Truly Want to Know?

However, despite my diverse experiences teaching various disciplines, from sports to entrepreneurship, I've discovered something shocking. Most people are reluctant to delve into their "inner game."

For example, when I asked my Pickleball students if they wanted to learn “the psychology of playing better Pickleball, the vast majority said, “No thanks. I just want to hit balls.” They are hesitant to acknowledge their mental state's power over their lives, health, and skills. Many remain oblivious to the profound effects of the mind-body connection. And that’s okay now that I’m a recovering control freak.

In conclusion, acknowledging and understanding the mind-body connection is vital to our overall well-being. "When the Body Says No" by Gabor Mate is a fantastic resource to begin this journey of comprehension. Ignoring this intrinsic link between the mind and body is akin to blinding oneself to the tremendous potential the mind holds for maintaining health and healing from significant Trauma, injury, and illness.

It's imperative to seek and collaborate with medical professionals who recognize, advocate, and incorporate this mind-body connection in their approach to healing. This understanding and acknowledgment are not just about treating a disease but about embracing a holistic approach to health that enables us to thrive and not merely survive.