Not Sure Who You Want to Be When You Grow Up?

Here’s how I’ve learned to go with the flow, and you can, too

Image credit, Canva Pro

No matter your age, there will be times when you’re unsure what’s next. In other words, you won’t know what you want to do, be, etc.

It’s as if you’re stuck, but you’re not stuck once you see the opportunity in not knowing what’s next. I’m 63 and currently figuring out what I want to be when I grow up over the next few years.

By the end of this article, I want you to know a process I use for being okay with not knowing what’s next, no matter what stage of life you’re in.

The Benefit of Not Knowing

Not knowing is a benefit. It’s an opportunity to be okay with not knowing and in a patient, curious, exploring, open-minded, prayerful mode.

You get to be curious, present, open-minded, and willing to expose yourself to new people’s ideas and, most of all, to search inside yourself, your heart, by reflecting on your core values, unique abilities, special interests, gifts, and curiosities.

You don’t know what you want to be or what you want to do next. That’s okay.

The first step for all of us is to know we won’t know, and it’s okay not to know. We learn to accept that not knowing is a huge part of life.

To Thine Own Self Be True

There’s only one of you. The phrase “To thine own self be true” is from William Shakespeare’s play Hamlet.

In Act 1, Scene 3, Polonius, a courtier, gives this advice to his son, Laertes, before he departs for France.

The full context of the quote is part of a broader speech filled with life advice, encouraging Laertes to act with integrity and self-awareness:

“This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.”

Experience Matters

We learn what’s next by learning more about who we are. If we don’t know who we are, it’s tough to know what we want.

That’s why young people torture themselves by being in such a rush to grow up. Trust me, life happens fast enough without rushing it.

We learn to know from experience, and the only real experience that counts is in the real world dealing with other humans. Growing up takes a lifetime.

Given this mindset, you’ll see every day as a new opportunity to grow up and be more true to yourself.

The Inner Child Never Dies

Next, we learn that a part of us never dies; it goes by many names, and it’s the part of you that never feels old. I believe it’s our inner child.

I’ve noticed that no matter my age, there’s an inner child who’s curious, playful, willing, able to learn, and wanting to know more about ourselves, the world around us, and other people.

Same for you. If you haven’t thought about that part of yourself, now you can focus your awareness on that part of you that wonders, “Hey, I’m bored doing XYZ for a living. What’s next? What will be more fulfilling, financially rewarding, and good for others?”

Being Curious Pays Big Dividends

Be curious about what you’re curious about. Remember how curious and playful you were as a child? Never let go of that part of you. Exercise it daily.

Think about what gives you joy and positive energy. Think about what fires you up when helping others get what they want. Be curious to know more about who you are and what matters most. You’ll learn by knowing what you don’t like, and those lessons will serve you well.

Humans are the only animals that ask these questions and think. We’re also the only animals that talk to ourselves. Our self-talk makes a massive difference in our self-view. We’re the only animals that talk to ourselves.

When we train our thinking and self-talk, we change our lives. We start waking up by activating the God-given superpowers of our minds, hearts, and souls, which work in vertical alignment.

Waking Up

Look around. Most of us are asleep.

That means we don’t ask. We don’t know. We don’t care. We sleep through the school of life.

You’re reading this article because you’re different. You’re more awake than most. You’re asking, wondering, and thinking about what’s next.

You’re curious, which sets you apart from most, especially those around you who are sound asleep.

We never stop growing up unless we give up being curious, connected, open-minded, and warm-hearted. We know the difference between good and evil, meaningful and not, purposeful and not, love and hate, and so on.

We have free will, and how we use it determines our experiences. These experiences drive our self-knowledge and awareness, which drive our intellect.

Free will is a big deal, but it’s never genuinely free, considering the cost of not using it.

Waking up means we know who we are, and we make better choices given our free will.

Not Knowing Is Normal

It’s normal not to know. The way to be okay with not knowing is to accept that it is a normal part of life.

You will seek answers many times as you go through life. Even into retirement, if there is such a thing for you, you will not know what’s next many times.

For most of us, that uncertainty doesn’t feel good. In fact, for many of us, it creates anxiety. Not knowing can feel bad until you’re okay with not knowing.

We may not know what the next gig is, or we may not know how to find the next relationship or lover. We may not be sure how to make ends meet, which can create stress.

But there’s a way you can use not knowing as a superpower. I’ve practiced it for many years because, as an entrepreneur, I often don’t know what’s next.

If you’re young and don’t know what’s next, being okay with that is one key to your peace of mind and serenity.

I’m Okay Not Knowing

I’ve started three businesses and sold two. What’s next? I’m not sure.

It’s been this way for months, even though I’ve had some consulting and ghostwriting work this past year. Having been in a place where I did not know what was next, I’m more okay with it now.

Even though I could officially retire, I don’t believe in retirement. I believe in doing work that I love and serving others for as long as I live. Why stop doing work that brings me income and joy?

I’m considering several business paths, including starting a new consulting business, buying or starting a local specialty bakery, and selling my artwork in prints and notecards. I’m researching and playing with all three daily right now.

A Simple Process to Follow

It’s okay not to know what’s next for yourself. Acceptance is the springboard to serenity in this regard.

Here’s how I handle not knowing. At the highest level, I pray, ask for guidance, wait, and trust that I will know more when the time comes.

These are the four simple steps to take throughout life, knowing there will be many times we don’t know what’s next and have nothing to fear.

1. Pray

2. Ask, seek, wonder

3. Wait

4. Trust

We go to bed most nights not knowing what tomorrow will bring. Instead of worrying, we pray, ask, wait, and trust.

The answers are within us, and signs, guidance, and instructions will become apparent around us.

We live one day at a time.

The Power of Prayer and Process

That’s it. Trust the power of prayer and process.

Pray, ask, wait, trust. It’s about your faith.

Doing these things teaches you to love the not-knowing parts of your life. You’ll have a simple process that you take with you everywhere.

You use the process through the days and nights: pray, ask, wait, trust.

We never stop growing up daily if we keep the inner, ageless, childlike curiosity, trust, playfulness, honesty, willingness, and open heart to have fun with life even when you’re not sure what’s next.

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I write about the art of human transformation, consciousness, spiritual evolution, transcending suffering, and mental health. Learn about my executive and strategic communications work at www.CliffordJones.com.