How to Live Effortlessly the Wu Wei
9 Essential Steps I Learned from a Recovering Hit Man
One of my digital paintings signifies change, making a U-turn in life.
Once upon a time, while trudging my way through a dark night of the soul, I met a man we will call Joey. Up until the time I met him, I was an unaware control freak who was freaked out because my business and life had spun out of control. It was time for me to make big changes, and that included a U-turn on being a control freak.
Looking back, I’m grateful for all the bumps and bruises self incurred. I’m also grateful for people like Joey who showed me how to let go of my control delusion, and becoming willing to learn a new way of living. That way is called the Wu Wei to live.
Fear Meets Love: Love at First Sight
We met a local networking group when Joey noticed me sulking by myself while standing in the foyer of the event meeting room. When we saw each other, he walked across the room, put his arm on my shoulder, and said, “Hi. My name is Joey. You look like you could use a friend.”
Joey looked like a bad-ass biker who could axe murder you in a nanosecond. But for some reason, I trusted him. It was as if Joey knew precisely how to help me when I couldn’t help myself. Despite the biker garb, tattoos, and heavy Brooklyn, New York accent, I immediately knew to follow his lead. It was a brotherly love at first sight. As a terrified man spinning out of control, I knew Joey was no longer afraid.
Joey had been where I was going. After we first met, he said, “You’re in the right place. I don’t know much about you, but if you’re here for the same reason the rest of us are here, take a seat next to me, sit back, and listen for the whole meeting.”
That’s all Joey needed to say. We walked into the meeting room, sat down at a table, and I sat quietly listening to the speaker at that meeting and knew I was where I needed to be.
Discovering the Wu Wei
I had never heard of Wu Wei before Joey began to teach me and a small group of others martial arts, meditation, and the power of fellowship. One afternoon every week, our group would meet at Joey’s apartment complex and take over one of the two tennis courts nobody had used in 48 years.
Even though Joey was teaching us a hybrid form of martial art, including stance, breath, blocking, punching, kicking, and bare knife fighting, he taught us how to use our minds. You see, the best martial artists know how to kill things hard and fast.
No martial art master fights unless it’s to defend life. Masters are masters of their minds. Joey knew how not to fight. Joey learned to defend himself and kill people when he was growing up on the streets. During his many years in prison, his fighting skills were handy. By the time I met Joey, he had paid his debt to society, and worked in the state prison attending to the toughest wards of men.
I love Joey. I’ll never forget him. Our friendship blossomed for many years even though I’ve lost touch with him. Joey was real and one of the truest friends I ever had.
Joey taught me how to use my mind and heart, to let go of fear and control, to surrender, let go and let God run the show. Joey taught me how to be a humble copilot and he changed my life.
What Wu Wei Is
Wu Wei is a fundamental concept in Daoism, an ancient Chinese philosophy. It can be translated as "non-action," "non-doing," or "effortless action." However, as you’re about to learn, Wu Wei does not imply inaction or laziness.
At its core, Wu Wei refers to a state of being in which one aligns oneself with the natural flow of the universe, acting in harmony with it rather than against it. It involves finding a balance between taking action and allowing things to unfold naturally, without force or unnecessary effort. It is about being in tune with the present moment, responding intuitively, and allowing outcomes to manifest without attachment or resistance.
Wu Wei emphasizes the cultivation of spontaneity, simplicity, and awareness. It encourages individuals to let go of their ego-driven desires, striving, and the need to control outcomes. By doing so, we can tap into the inherent wisdom of the universe, trusting in its natural order and allowing life to unfold effortlessly.
In practical terms, Wu Wei can be seen as a way of engaging with the world that is characterized by flow, ease, and effectiveness. It involves acting with mindfulness, making choices that are aligned with the greater good, and embracing the interconnectedness of all things.
Overall, Wu Wei invites us to live in harmony with themselves, others, and the world around them, embracing a state of effortless action that leads to a deeper sense of peace, fulfillment, and authenticity.
When I first learned about Wu Wei, the concept made sense. The truth is, by practicing it now for almost 20 years, it has become a way of life. That doesn’t mean I can’t or won’t get upset. I can and do.
Living the Wu Wei means learning to catch my former faults sooner, to process my emotions internally, and stop sweating the small stuff, and pretty much all of life including death.
Nine Simple Steps to Follow
Joey was the first hero to show me the way to change my life by changing myself. Here are nine simple steps for you to embrace an effortless way of living the Wu Wei:
Embrace the present moment. Release attachments to the past and worries about the future. Focus on the beauty and opportunities that exist in the present moment.
Cultivate awareness. Develop a heightened sense of self-awareness by observing your thoughts, emotions, and actions without judgment. This awareness allows you to make conscious choices aligned with the natural flow of life.
Let go of control. It’s a delusion. Just try and control your thinking, and you’ll see what happens. We have to let go! Recognize that there are aspects of life beyond your control. Instead of resisting or forcing outcomes, surrender to the flow of the universe and trust that everything is unfolding as it should.
Practice non-striving. Imagine yourself floating effortlessly down a river. Chill. Shift from a mindset of constantly striving and chasing after goals to one of contentment and gratitude for what is already present in your life. This opens the space for effortless action.
Trust your intuition. Ignore your soul, and you’ll feel dead inside. Tune in to your inner voice, the subtle whispers of intuition. By trusting this inner guidance, you align yourself with the wisdom of the universe and make decisions that feel effortless and true.
Embrace simplicity. Less is more once you have too much. Simplify your life by letting go of unnecessary possessions, commitments, and distractions. By decluttering your external and internal spaces, you create room for ease and clarity.
Cultivate patience. It’s a virtue for good reason; impatience can become maddening. It’s based on fear, naturally. Recognize that everything has its own timing. Patience allows you to flow with the natural rhythms of life and trust that things will unfold at the right moment.
Practice non-resistance. Resistance to life is futile once you know what Pauly knows. Rather than resisting challenges or difficulties, accept them as opportunities for growth and learning. By letting go of resistance, you can navigate life's obstacles with greater ease. In every situation, ask, “Why did this happen?” “Because it did.” Accept all, move on.
Embrace interconnectedness. Solitary confinement is the cruelest form of punishment, and many of us do it to ourselves, especially men. Get connected and give! Serve others. Practice seeing similarities instead of differences. It’s a choice you can make in each moment. Recognize that you are an integral part of a vast web of life. Cultivate compassion, kindness, and empathy towards others, knowing that our actions ripple through the interconnected fabric of existence.
My journey with Joey and the teachings of Wu Wei have changed me in profound ways. (Ask my saint of a wife, the ultimate litmus test.)
By following these nine simple steps, you can embark on a path of living effortlessly. Embrace the present moment, cultivate awareness, let go of control, and trust your intuition. Simplify your life, practice patience and non-resistance, and embrace interconnectedness.
Living effortlessly is not about achieving perfection or completely eradicating challenges. It’s about practicing radical acceptance with all that is, especially when you don’t like a person, place or thing.
It’s letting go, and letting your notion of God run the show. You are the faithful copilot, and you navigate life being your best in every moment. You approach life as you. It’s your invitation to dance with the rhythms of existence.
Through Wu Wei, we all have the potential discover a profound sense of peace, fulfillment, and harmony in our lives.
So, I invite you to embark on this transformative journey. Embrace the principles of Wu Wei and allow your life to unfold with effortless grace. May you find joy, contentment, and a deeper connection to yourself and the world around you.