How to Go from Anger Management to Unconditional Love
Practice the Art of Radical Acceptance. Let Love Do the Rest.
How can two lovers fight to the death? What does it take to divorce your parents? How do two friends suddenly fall far apart for decades on their core values and alignment of interests?
The answer to these questions is simple and not easy. The way to go from court-ordered anger management to love is by practicing the subtle art of radical acceptance daily.
The saints, sages, mystics, and monks of the past called it detachment. The more you practice acceptance and detachment by rising above the seeming insanity within your mind and around you, the sooner you will transform your view of yourself and everything around you by lifting your consciousness to live by virtue more than vice.
"Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things." - Colossians 3:2
By the end of this article, may more of us understand how to transform our consciousness.
Being Human
Welcome to humanity, folks. Humans are the only animals with the power of intention. Think about that for a minute.
Humans are the only animals with intention. It’s a function of our evolved consciousness. Cats don’t intend to catch mice any more than fish intend to each other while swimming in their charter schools.
Conversely, we hate at our worst. We form opinions and ways of being at the core of our central nervous systems. The older we get, the harder it is to change because, despite our best intentions, human brains and bodies love constancy; homeostasis. Most humans hate change. Look around.
As evolution would have it, some of us evolve to a level of consciousness after at least one highly-traumatic, life-changing walk through hell. As Winston Churchill said, “If you’re going through hell, keep on going.”
Despite our best intentions, humans can create a living hell, heaven on earth, or something in between, depending on our ability to direct our senses to actions that transform every aspect of humanness.
Anger Management
When the inevitable unaware or selfish driver cuts us off, we lose our minds. Our impatience is suddenly an act of rage. Some of us reach for a gun despite being behind the wheel of a 3,000-plus pound weapon of mass destruction. We drive around while looking at Smartphones that make us dumber, according to science.
The fool in front of us sees our rage. Our rage exudes through the windshield and penetrates the cells of the cut-off artist now in front of you. Surely we will now be late, and we decide to teach Captain Unaware Driver a lesson.
We look for a gap in the other lane, make a cut and gun it past them. As soon as we see a large enough gap, we cut the other dude off, crashes into their car, and cause a chain reaction that makes hundreds of drivers and school kids behind you slam into each other, sustain injuries, and miss their first commitments of the day.
The Bible and Karma
In the Bible, the Law of Cause and Effect is often referred to as the principle of sowing and reaping:
"Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. Whoever sows to please their flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction; whoever sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life." - Galatians 6:7-8
Karma is “as in so doing.” There will always be a consequence. Scenarios like the one I describe happen countless times every day. Chances are, simply reading the scenario caused a visceral reaction within you, especially if a judge has ordered you to attend mandatory anger management classes and pay for them on top of missing work.
Think of our karmic imprints on a range of 1 being low, selfish, greedy, dishonest, deceitful behavior, to 10; we’re practically sinless except for when we are at our lowest and say nasty things to ourselves. The more we do positive things, the more we accumulate karmic imprints. The same is true for negative imprints. It’s as if the universe keeps score and says, “Don’t be a selfish jerk. If you can follow only one rule, let it be the Golden Rule; treat others as you want to be treated.”
The Law of Cause and Effect is a fundamental principle in various philosophical and spiritual traditions, which states that every action or event has a cause or set of causes and that these causes will inevitably produce an effect or set of effects. This law is sometimes referred to as the law of karma.
How to Go from Anger Management to Unconditional Love
God is love. Love is God. Here’s proof: "Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love." - 1 John 4:8
Being sent by a judge to anger management classes is evidence it is time for a person to learn to love all that is, especially when we hate any person, place, or thing. Nobody who practices unconditional love at the highest level will be ordered into anger management because they won’t get angry.
As we train our minds and bodies and lift our God-given human consciousness to higher levels, the quality of life within and around us improves because love is the highest energy in the universe.
The first step to shifting from being irritable, impatient, and often discontent with yourself, other people, places, or things is to practice acceptance. All of these emotions lead to anger. Anger can lead to rage. Rage can lead to horrible stuff we do and regret. Acceptance is learned by understanding where it takes us; inner peace. Radical acceptance is the evolution of our consciousness to be in a near-constant state of inner peace and bliss.
It’s not that people of this level of consciousness don’t feel the same emotions we feel at lower levels. They feel everything at the highest possible level. Ask any empathic or psychic person, people who’ve experienced near death or psychedelically-induced glimpses of God’s eternal love and light what it feels like to feel infinite love and share glimpses of God, angels, spirits of all energies and dimensions, and most of all, Christ.
The opposite end of the energetic spectrum is love. Love is the highest energy within us and the universe. We are of the universe because science teaches us that our bodies are microcosms of the entire universe, dust to dust.
Loving What We Hate
"When you argue with reality, you lose - but only 100% of the time." - Byron Katie
Byron Katie is a renowned spiritual teacher and author known for her teachings on self-inquiry and loving what is.
If you’ve ever attracted a family member, roommate, boss, or friend from hell, you know the feeling of hate. Hate happens within because we react to people, places, and things around us that we don’t like.
The next step is knowing we can transform through love, not to feel hate, and in the rare instances an evolved conscious human feels the early impulses of hatred which are judgment, impatience, fear, etc. The person knows how to process and let go of anything but love. This person has practiced for many days.
Liking can lead to love. Not liking can lead to hate. Choosing wisely is a learned skill depending on our spiritual, emotional, and overall psyche and environment. We become products of our environment, without exception. You'll become hateful if you hang around wicked people, places, and things. You'll feel loved if you hang around loving people, places, and things.
How do we know that fool was supposed to cut us off on our way to a big meeting? Because it did. How do we know we were supposed to get in a big fight with our lover? Because we did. Everything happens, and it happens, and the sooner we accept that virtually all things are beyond our control, we learn to let go and let God run the show. We begin to see ourselves as the copilot with more significant power within us. It’s the power that remembers to breathe us when we forget. This power goes by many names; most of us call it God.
The same is true for everything that happens; it’s happening for us to learn and grow. Suppose we are of this world and not planted on it to suffer in ignorance. In that case, we are to lift ourselves by lifting our awareness and consciousness, accepting reality, embracing change, and finding peace in the present moment. We must train ourselves, or work with a teacher or coach we trust, to let go of resistance and judgment. We must learn to approach life with openness and curiosity.
Moving from Disliking to Liking to Love
"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind." - Romans 12:2
It’s best to see ourselves on our journey of conscious transformation. Human free will is to be used freely. Changing from disliking to liking to love is a daily practice. That’s why it’s simple and not easy. Most of us can’t or won’t keep our commitments until we experience life at a low enough level for us to use our lower pride, shame, fear, guilt, regret, and anger as our springboard to courage and commitment to do the work every day, all day until we return home to the other side.
Disliking someone or something is a common human experience. It is a natural reaction that arises from our individual preferences, values, and experiences. However, there is an alternative approach to disliking that may seem counterintuitive: loving unconditionally. True love is unconditional and may be the best way to overcome our negative feelings toward someone or something.
First, it is essential to acknowledge that it is not abnormal to experience dislike. We all have our preferences, and there are certain things that we naturally gravitate toward or away from. However, if we let our dislike dictate our actions and decisions, we may limit ourselves and miss out on opportunities for growth and development.
Loving unconditionally means accepting and embracing the person, place, or thing without any conditions or reservations. It does not mean that we approve of everything they do or that we have to pretend that everything is perfect. Instead, it is about seeing the good in them despite their flaws and shortcomings.
This approach may sound challenging but it can transform our relationships and experiences. By loving unconditionally, we release ourselves from the negative emotions and judgments that weigh us down. It allows us to approach situations with an open mind and heart, which can lead to greater understanding, empathy, and connection.
"I am a lover of what is, not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality." - Byron Katie
Furthermore, loving unconditionally can also foster personal growth and development. We challenge ourselves to look beyond our biases and preconceptions by seeing the good in someone or something. It can help us develop greater emotional intelligence, empathy, and compassion. These qualities can help us build stronger relationships, improve communication skills, and become more effective leaders.
It is also important to note that loving unconditionally does not mean tolerating abuse or harmful behavior. It is essential to set healthy boundaries and prioritize our well-being. However, approaching them with unconditional love can help us navigate them with more extraordinary grace and strength, even in difficult situations.
In conclusion, while disliking someone or something is a natural human experience, loving unconditionally can have transformative effects. It allows us to release negative emotions and judgments, fosters personal growth and development, and can improve our relationships and experiences. While it may not be the easiest approach, it has the potential to bring greater joy, connection, and fulfillment into our lives.