How to Get Over Problems with People, Places, and Things—Especially When It Comes to Money
It's a matter of perspective more than anything else
- Growth, image credit author (From Janice’s rose garden!)
Lately, I let a frustrating situation get under my skin. I was so caught up in it that I started complaining instead of finding a way forward. The only way I knew how to vent was to write about it, but looking back, I realize that wasn’t the right move.
I’m sorry I complained. I was wrong. I don’t want to complain—that’s not my style. In hindsight, airing my frustration publicly wasn’t just unhelpful; it was a character defect.
Like all character defects, I have to own my part in them. In this case, my part was perception. How I see things and react is within my control. Beyond that, I have free will and need to use it for the greater good.
Complaining about a personal or business ordeal didn’t serve me—or anyone else. It was a mistake. And when I make mistakes, I have to own them. To do that, I have to recognize when my actions are out of alignment with the person I want to be.
We all have character flaws, but we must become aware of them and work to change them—not just for our mental health but for our humanity. It’s taken me a lifetime to understand this.
Humans, like butterflies, affect everything around us. Our energy—our life force—filters through our psyche and personality, touching all people, places, and things directly and indirectly. Whether we realize it or not, we’re all part of a unified energy field that connects and sustains everything.
Maya Angelou said it best:
"Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better."
I knew better than to complain, but I let my emotions override my rational mind. Instead of processing them privately, I let negativity spill out into the world.
So, how did I work through this? Here’s the simple process I used to shift my mindset when dealing with frustration—especially regarding money.
The S.H.I.F.T. Process
Self-awareness. It all starts here. I have to ask myself: What’s my role in this situation? Did I do my best to resolve it? Have I been patient? If I’ve done everything possible, how do I find acceptance, one day at a time?
Higher understanding. Shifting my perspective helps. When I step back, I see that no single financial issue is the world's end. I have higher priorities. If I adjust my viewpoint, I find peace.
Introspection. The only thing I genuinely control is how I view and manage challenges. When an obstacle presents itself, I can react emotionally or remain neutral and grounded. The best way to do that is to look inward. I remind myself to detach from outcomes, embrace the process, and practice radical acceptance. I care for myself through prayer, meditation, contemplation, moderate exercise, good nutrition, and quality sleep. It’s all grace, mercy, and intention.
Focused intention. Intention sets the stage for everything. I choose to manage my emotions and not let setbacks shake me. I intend to be patient and solution-oriented rather than reactive. If I stay focused, I find a resolution—one way or another.
Transformation & change. During this challenge, I made some significant changes. I closed a long-time business consulting practice and launched a new corporate, headshot, portrait, and event photography business. And I’m having a blast. I’m winning new clients, learning new things, and moving forward. Because of that, the problem that once seemed so big became irrelevant. It worked itself out.
The Bigger Picture
Now you know my simple S.H.I.F.T. process for not becoming a controlling, selfish, needy, complaining jerk when things don’t go my way—because that part of me is not my best part.
The best part of me? The part that loves being a creative, outlying misfit who escaped the rat race years ago—and helps others do the same.
Taking my keyboard and going home in frustration? That’s not the move. No. It’s better to play well with others even when others don’t play well with me. What’s the use of arguing with reality?
Things may or may not go the way I want. That’s life. But I still love what I do and am grateful for my opportunities.
It feels good to write this. As a recovering control freak, people pleaser, and perfectionist with a wicked dose of imposter syndrome, I’m a work in progress.
And so are you. Thanks for reading about mine.
I write about finding clarity of purpose, being creative, and creating cash flow that gives you artistic, time, and financial freedom. I’m a professional photographer specializing in corporate, headshots, and event photography. Learn more at www.CliffordJones.com.
Your self-awareness is unmatched. Truly. Writers in general tend to be more self-aware (I think), but you seem to go above and beyond to try and better yourself. It's an admirable trait.