Gratitude in the Middle of the Storm
What a family crisis taught me about presence, acceptance, and learning to love it all
- Janice, Cliff, grandchildren
It’s been a brutal stretch these past six months. The image you see is my wife and me with our three grandchildren. Here we are in our happy zone, in the eye of a recent storm.
Most of my energy has gone into helping a family member through a crisis I would not wish on anyone. Coaching, writing, painting, photography, all of it stopped. I sat down to write more times than I can count, only to come up empty.
The fact that you are reading this now means something finally came through, and it feels honest.
Enjoy.
The crisis
Three years ago, a close family member was hit by a car while riding a bicycle and suffered a traumatic brain injury. Over time, the full weight of that injury became clear.
What started as recovery turned into serious behavioral health issues. We entered a system akin to a black hole. We were not looking for surface-level solutions. We needed care that matched what brain scans were showing.
I can’t tell the full story. I won’t use names. Here is my side of it with a few key lessons.
Staying strong under extreme stress
There’s good stress and the kind that slowly crushes us. I’ve attracted buckets of both. I’m grateful for all of the past and present, now.
I’ve spent a lifetime leaning into stress as an athlete, entrepreneur, builder, and creative. I know how to push. I know how to endure.
But when life hits, it slams my face into the ground, and staying calm is hard. Sometimes it feels impossible. Yet, I’m finding my way.
Being human is about making spiritual progress
Spiritual work and mental health work are not separate. They move together. I’m steadier than I used to be, even when everything around me feels unstable.
As the family patriarch, I need to show up for my family, especially my wife. Not perfectly. But consistently. With acceptance, compassion, and love.
Steadfastness, not reaction.
Even when a marriage may not survive. Even when there are no clear answers.
There is still a way to find gratitude in the middle of it. “Thank you, God.”
The way is grace
We’ve grown a lot as a family over the last six months. Faith and grace carried us when nothing else did.
Finding the right help was harder than expected. When someone does not fit cleanly into the system, you feel it fast. We spoke with doctors, specialists, and providers. We made countless calls.
We found some answers, but mostly resistance. Insurance helped very little. Many providers do not accept it. The real solutions often require paying out of pocket.
That’s the reality.
The storm has eased a bit in recent weeks, thanks to family, close friends, and a few professionals who stepped in.
Every crisis teaches something, whether you want it to or not
Suffering strips life down to what is real.
You either fight reality or accept it and ask what it’s here to teach.
I’ve learned to say, this is hard, step up, let’s find a way.
The best way I’ve learned to deal with fear is to focus on the present and to be grateful for everything, including the hardest lessons. The present is one of the greatest gifts we receive.
We don’t get what we want until we are grateful for what we already have.
Everyone processes the crisis differently
That’s why presence matters.
We are still working to find the right support, and we are not stopping.
At the same time, everyone in the family needs care, not just the person in crisis.
We talk openly. No matter how uncomfortable it gets.
We are in this together, even though one of the units is breaking apart
Therapy matters. Support matters. No one carries this alone.
I meet people where they are, not where I want them to be. I listen. I hug. I reassure.
When anger and rage showed up due to the brain injury, I had to remind myself that this is the wounded part of an otherwise good man.
We cannot control others. We can only control how we respond.
Stay calm. Stay grounded. Stay grateful.
Family is first
Family is first for me because I know what it feels like when it breaks.
My wife and I have built a 40-year marriage. That unity matters now more than ever.
Sometimes family is the only thread holding things together. It’s not clean. It’s not easy.
It takes intention.
Mental health is not an event
It’s a process. There is no quick fix. Real healing takes time, effort, and community.
Stress and trauma can shut down logic. When that happens, people act in ways that don’t make sense.
Understanding that helped me stay grounded.
Life is hard. Family is hard. Accept it. Expect it. Learn from it.
There is a purpose in suffering
You learn patience. Compassion. Forgiveness. Strength. Love.
But only if you’re willing. That starts with ownership. Every person in the family has a role. It’s to be accountable and respectful to all.
No one becomes willing until they are tired of suffering.
Without struggle, growth doesn’t happen. I believe that we are here to evolve in how we love.
You see it everywhere, even in the worst conditions. Love still shows up.
Learning emotional maturity is one of the keys to happiness
I don’t surf in the ocean, but I’ve learned to surf my emotions. Prayer, breathing, movement, and focus keep me steady.
Reading, journaling, and simplifying matter more than ever.
Gratitude changes everything. It shifts your focus. It calms the mind. It softens the edges.
Life gets better when you let it
My life has improved with age. That’s true for many people.
But we live in a world that pulls our attention in every direction. You have to rise above the noise. You have to find stillness.
You have to choose meaning, even in crisis.
Suffering will change you. The question is how and when. Let it go by letting go.
Together, we are learning to be okay even when we’re not
Acceptance of what is becomes the springboard to serenity. We are healing. Not perfectly. Not completely. But we are moving forward.
Communication is open. Respect is growing. We are more united than we were. The hard truth is, there may still be a divorce ahead. That may be the deepest wound.
But one thing will not change. I will love my family unconditionally.
Because learning acceptance, compassion, and forgiveness are the rungs on the ladder to unconditional love and inner peace.
And in the end, that’s why we are here.
I’m an author, strategic consultant, and mentor. Discover the power of the Clarity S.H.I.F.T. Method® for improving your career, business, and life at www.CliffordJones.com.