A College Dropout Loses His Job and Gets Lost in a Cloud of Smoke
A conversation using the Clarity S.H.I.F.T. Method®
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In my role as a strategic guide, coach, and mentor, I work with people from diverse backgrounds. Recently, I worked with a young man who had lost his job and was struggling to find his way. When I first met him, he spent his time hanging out with friends who loved to smoke weed, play video games, and pretend everything was okay.
What follows is the dialogue from a Clarity S.H.I.F.T. Method® session that lasted about an hour. I met with the young man, let’s call him Steven, several times after our initial meeting, and today, he’s made a tremendous shift to improve himself.
The Shift Begins with Discovery
I start with, “What brought you here today? Tell me what’s going on.”
“I don’t even know why I’m here, Cliff. Honestly, I’m fine, I guess.”
That’s how Steven opened. A young man, in his early thirties, shoulders hunched, eyes heavy. He’d dropped out of college, lost his job at a marketing agency, and now most of his time was spent in dark rooms with friends, video games on one side and weed smoke on the other. He said he was fine. But you could see he wasn’t.
The first step in the Clarity S.H.I.F.T. Method® session is understanding self-awareness. It’s about how we perceive, feel, and interact with ourselves.
I smiled. “Okay, let’s just talk. What’s going on in your mind right now?”
“I feel like a loser,” Steven admitted after a pause. “Like I had a chance, and I blew it. My parents are disappointed. I’m disappointed. And honestly, I’m just numb. I don’t even know what I feel anymore. It’s like a heavy weight is holding me back.”
The story Steven was telling himself was simple: I’m a failure.
The second step in the shift method is cultivating a higher understanding. We shift the self-view and change the way we see the situation. In other words, we take ownership and begin to commit to changing from within.
“But is that the truth?” I asked. “Or is it just the story you’re stuck in?”
He thought for a long moment. “I guess it’s just a story. The truth is, I’ve got time. I’m still young. I know deep down I’m creative, I have ideas, I just don’t know where to put them.”
Now we were getting somewhere. Steven’s higher perspective reminded him that failure in his twenties isn’t final. He can shift through and overcome the negative self-view, self-doubt, fear, and noise he’s creating in his mind.
The third step in the shift method is introspection. It’s about searching within ourselves and finding what’s true, rather than believing the negative nonsense that holds us back.
“So what’s holding you back?”
“Fear,” Steven said. “Fear I’ll try again and screw it up. Fear I’ll never live up to what people expect. Maybe that’s why I hide out, get high, play games. It’s easier to escape than to face myself.”
He looked down and muttered, almost to himself, “Yeah, but I’ve tried before and nothing changed.”
I let the words sink in before asking, “What would you need to let go of to move forward?”
“The idea that I’m supposed to have it all figured out by now. That I have to be perfect, especially for my mom, who is always on my case.”
The fourth step is getting to what Steven wants for himself. Here is where we begin to set a new focused intention as the guiding light and his improved story or script.
I leaned forward. “What outcome do you really want for yourself, say, in the next six months?”
His eyes lit just a little. “I want to get back into something creative, like video. I love psychology, too. But I’m not sure what to do with that. I want a job again, and I feel proud of myself. Even if it’s just a small step, I want to find work and get off my mom’s payroll.”
“So what’s a new script or story you could practice every day? Let’s think of a new intention, a vision, or a dream you can tap into. Intentions are bigger than goals. It’s what lights you up.”
He nodded slowly. “I’m not a failure. I’m learning. I’m building. My creativity has value. I can do this because I’m sick of feeling stuck where I am, and having to ask my mom for money.”
I always encourage clients to use a new journal or notebook to help document the shift that starts with the first session. I’m not attached to the clock. My role is to guide them into clarity.
The fifth and final step in Clarity S.H.I.F.T. Method® is the transformation that begins. Transformation is about making progress, rather than focusing on perfection.
“What will you do, starting today, to help you shift the way you see yourself, and change the story you’ve been telling yourself?”
“I’ll stop hanging out with the guys. I think I’ll be better off if I don’t smoke weed. I need to start eating better and get off the sugar. I’ll start looking for a new job and make time for doing things I love, like sketching and drawing. I also think working out in the gym will help me lose some weight. Even just an hour a day. And I’ll tell myself the new script when the old one starts up.”
I smiled and added, “That’s great progress, Steven. Want another suggestion?”
“Sure,” he replied.
“Okay, hear me out, then write it down in your notebook. Block a few minutes in the morning when you first wake up, again in the middle of the day, and before you go to bed to unwind. It’s time for you to work on yourself, to practice your shift from feeling stuck to seeing, feeling, and believing in the power of your subconscious mind. It’s simple. Simply sit in a comfortable position and practice your new script. Write it down after we’re done here today, send it to me, and I’ll help you edit it if you like.”
Steven took notes as if he had started to care about shifting the way he saw himself and being intentional about who he was becoming. For the first time in our conversation, he looked less weighed down. His posture straightened, and he even cracked a small smile.
Before we wrapped up, I asked him to recite aloud the new story he had chosen. He read from his notebook: “I’m not a failure. I’m learning. I’m building. My creativity has value.”
I nodded. “That’s it. That’s your shift. Keep practicing it until you believe it, and then watch what happens.”
When Steven walked in, the story in his head was, I’m a failure. By the time he left, the story had evolved to one of learning, building, and having value. That’s not just a change of words. It’s a change of trajectory.
The Clarity S.H.I.F.T. Method® isn’t about fixing someone in an hour. It’s about helping people pause, take an honest look at themselves, and rewrite the script that’s been holding them back. With practice, those new scripts become new beliefs, and new beliefs shape new lives.
Steven went on to keep his commitment. Within a month, he distanced himself from old habits and old friends. He re-enrolled in college. He landed a new job. Most importantly, he shifted the way he saw himself. And when that shift happens, everything else begins to follow.
That’s the power of a simple shift.
And if you’re reading this, ask yourself: What’s the story I’ve been telling myself? And what new story could I begin today?
I’m an author, strategic guide, and mentor. Discover the power of the Clarity S.H.I.F.T. Method® at www.CliffordJones.com.